Reflections on the Readings

1 Sm 3:1-10, 19-20 - Ps 40:2 and 5, 7-8a, 8b-9, 10 - Mk 1:29-39

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The readings today deal with the call of God and chosing to conform to His will. The responsorial psalm today speaks very much to me; "Here am I, Lord; I come to do your will." I feel like Samuel most days, without an Eli. I hear the voice sometimes, but I lack the wisdom to discern from where it comes. Christ, in today's Gospel, demonstrates his clarity of purpose and understanding of what it was he is supposed to do.
Uncertian as I am, I long for that kind of clarity. God would have to have infinite patience with me for the number of times a day I ask; "Am I doing it right? Is this the direction you want me to go?" This is especially poingiant at the moment because of my current work situation. I am working with a great group of guys for an excellent purpose. Everything fits and meshes well together, except for one minor detail... funding. I know that Christ tells us to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours" ( Mt 6:33 ) as he discusses the flowers of the field and the bird of the sky. It's difficult to be true to this though in the face of all those who say "God helps those who help themselves."
Of course this last is not actually a lesson from scripture. In fact, from today's reading one might infer that God helps those who come to do his will... His will almost always calls us to act for the good of someone else and not ourselves. Might this be a possible pointer to what is and what is not the will of God?