Absolutes, Devotion, and the Eucharist...

I am a Catholic and I am devoted to God;
If I press that devotion to an absolute, then the very first thing I must do is love God above all. If I love God with all my heart then I am already doing what, I as a Catholic believe to be the greatest commandment. I believe it from two sources, in the first case Christ, whom I believe to be God and Man in a union we *best* describe as this Son of God, states it is first. I believe it also rationally, if I believe in a God and that God is the source and creator of all then my love with a thankful heart should flow back to him.
The second thing that I must do is love my neighbor as myself. There is a lot of semantic games people play with this basic concept but we all know what is meant here. We all desire to be loved and accepted so that is what we must do... Even a nonconformist such as myself wants to be accepted and not persecuted because I do things differently. Christ states this law as second to that first and again it is rationally verifiable.
If we do not do these things first and do *both* of these things first, how can we approach the Eucharist? It is meaningless to try to approach Christ as a brother unseen if we cannot love those brothers we see. God's mercy is infinite as well as his love, but if we cannot find him in the obvious places of this earth ( namely each other ) then what hope have we of finding him once we become separated from this life and existence.
Further if there is a religion, any religion, like mine, that has a concept of God ( for how can the mind of a man contain the total infinite God ) and that God is the creator of *all* then how can anyone justify damaging or hating *any* part of what that God has created. God may destroy anything that he has created, this is not in dispute, but he does not hate any of it.
How can he? If God "hated" anything would it not simply cease to be? How can the will of God form anything imperfectly? So if anything God "hates" never existed, then one must logically deduce that everything left is loved by him... Because we have free will we can choose away from him and he can become displeased... But every parent is disappointed and hurt by a child from time to time but an one say that a loving parent can ever hate their child?
So then how can anyone justify hate? How can someone hate in the name of God?

Focus and Fear

Do we make it to God and Heaven because of the things we do?
Or might we make it there in spite of all that we do because God is merciful?

What can one do in this world that will win heaven?
What finite act or finite number of finite acts can win an infinite Heaven?

The good book reads all is vainity, and it is true.
What can one man do, accept what he allows God to do through him?
If it is God working through him then how can anyone boast of a good work that he has done?

How can any man set himself up as better then another or more holy then another?

We are not dispicable, or filthy... we were made by God.

We are not without value... we were made by God.

We simply lack any comprehensive ability of Him...
...we believe in our secret hearts that we are really in control
...and if we believe in God in any degree...
...we believe that we control God...
...like a TV with a remote control...
...but He bears it and still loves us...
...not as a lofty king on high but as the artist loves his art...
...His art is a part of Him, and He a part of it...

When you look around you see both how far away we are from Him...
...but also how far we have come.

We are good and imperfect at the same time...

So the trick is not to focus on a glorious task that will "win" us heavenly reward... The vocation is to focus on the "heart" He gave us and do what is asked with out reward... To respond as the paintbrush, paint and canvas respond... quiet simple compliance.

Help me be paint to the painter.